The Protected Sex
"The result of taking second place to girls at school is that the boy feels a sense of inferiority that he is never afterward able entirely to shake off."
--Editorial in London Globe against co-education.

There, little girl, don't read,
You're fond of your books, I know,
But Brother might mope
If he had no hope
Of getting ahead of you.
It's dull for a boy who cannot lead.
There, little girl, don't read.
 

A Consistent Anti to Her Son
"Look at the hazards, the risks, the physical dangers that ladies would be exposed to at the polls." --Anti-suffrage speech

You're twenty-one to-day, Willie,
And a danger lurks at the door,
I've known about it always,
But I never spoke before;
When you were only a baby
It seemed so very remote,
But you're twenty-one to-day, Willie,
And old enough to vote.

You must not go to the polls, Willie,
Never go to the polls,
They're dark and dreadful places
Where many lose their souls;

They smirch, degrade and coarsen,
Terrible things they do
To quiet, elderly women--
What would they do to you!

If you've a boyish fancy
For any measure or man,
Tell me, and I'll tell Father,
He'll vote for it, if he can.
He casts my vote, and Louisa's,
And Sarah, and dear Aunt Clo;
Wouldn't you let him vote for you?
Father, who loves you so?

I've guarded you always, Willie,
Body and soul from harm;
I'll guard your faith and honor,
Your innocence and charm
From the polls and their evil spirits,
Politics, rum and pelf;
Do you think I'd send my only son
Where I would not go myself?
 

O WOMEN, have you heard the news
Of charity and grace?
Look, look, how joy and gratitude
Are beaming in my face!
For Mr. Webb is not opposed
To woman in her place!

O Mr. Webb, how kind you are
To let us live at all,
To let us light the kitchen range
And tidy up the hall;
To tolerate the female sex
In spite of Adam's fall.

O girls, suppose that Mr. Webb
Should alter his decree!
Suppose he were opposed to us--
Opposed to you and me.
What would be left for us to do--
Except to cease to be?
 

To President Wilson
"I hold it as fundamental principle and so do you, that every people has the right to determine its own form of government. And until recently 50 percent of the people of Mexico have not had a look-in in determining who should be their governors, or what their government should be."--Speech of President Wilson

Wise and just man--for such I think you are--
How can you see so burningly and clear
Injustices and tyrannies afar,
Yet blind your eyes to one that lies so near?
How can you plead so earnestly for men
Who fight their own fight with a bloody hand;
How hold their cause so wildly dear, and then
Forget the women of your native land?
With your stern ardor and your scholar's word
You speak to us of human liberty;

Can you believe that women are not stirred
By this same human longing to be free?
He who for liberty would strike a blow
Need not take arms, or fly to Mexico.
 

Home and Where It Is
An Indiana judge has recently ruled: As to the right of the husband to
 decide the location of the home that "home is where the husband is."

Home is where the husband is,
Be it near or be it far,
Office, theatre, Pullman car,
Poolroom, polls, or corner bar--
All good wives remember this--
Home is where the husband is.

Woman's place is home, I wish.
Leave your family bacon frying,
Leave your wash and dishes drying,
Leave your little children crying;
Join your husband, near or far,
At the club or corner bar,
For the court has taught us this;
"Home is where the husband is."
 

Such Nonsense
"Where on earth did the idea come from that the ballot is a boon,
 a privilege and an honor? From men."--Mrs. Prestonia Mann Martin

Who is it thinks the vote some use?
Man. (Man is often such a goose!)
Indeed it makes me laugh to see
How men have struggled to be free.

Poor Washington, who meant so well,
And Nathan Hale and William Tell,
Hampden and Bolivar and Pym,
And L'Ouverture--remember him?

And Garibaldi and Kossuth,
And some who threw away their youth,
All bitten by the stupid notion
That liberty was worth emotion.

They could not get it through their heads
That if they stayed tucked up in beds,
Avoiding politics and strife,
They'd then lead a pleasant, peaceful life.

Let us, dear sisters, never make
Such a ridiculous mistake;
But teach our children o'er and o'er
That liberty is just a chore.
 

The Maiden's Vow
A speaker at the National Education Association advised girls not to
 study algebra. Many girls, he said, had lost their souls through this study.
The idea has been taken up with enthusiasm.

I will avoid equations,
And shun the naughty surd,
I must beware the perfect square,
Through it young girls have erred:
And when men mention Rule of Three
Pretend I have not heard.

Through Sturm's delightful theorems
Illicit joys assure,
Though permutations and combinations
My woman's heart allure,
I'll never study algebra,
But keep my spirit pure.
 

A Suggested Campaign Song
"No bass bands. No speeches. Instead still, silent, effective influence."
--Anti-suffrage speech.

We are waging--can you doubt it?
A campaign so calm and still
No one knows a thing about it,
And we hope they never will.
No one knows
What we oppose,
And we hope they never will.

We are ladylike and quiet,
Here a whisper--there a hint;
Never speeches, bands or riot,
Nothing suitable for print.
No one knows
What we oppose,
For we never speak for print.

Sometimes in profound seclusion,
In some far (but homelike) spot,
We will make a dark allusion:
"We're opposed to you-know-what."
No one knows
What we oppose,
For we call it "You-Know-What."
 

A Modern Proposal
It has been said that the feminist movement is the true
 solution of the mother-in-law problem.

Sylvia, my dear, I would be yours with pleasure,
All that you are seems excellent to me,
Except your mother, who's much more at leisure
Than mothers ought to be.

Find her a fad, a job, an occupation,
Eugenics, dancing, uplift, yes, or crime,
Set her to work for her Emancipation--
That takes a lot of time.

Or, if the suffrage doctrine fails to charm her,
There are the Antis--rather in her line--
Guarding the Home from Maine to Alabama
Would keep her out of mine.

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